Friday, June 07, 2002

6/7/02

music: the whirring of my computer (yes, again)
mood: unfortunately, wide awake

Well, it seems that I have not written in a long time. As usual I am up writing because I cannot sleep. This sucks because I am supposed to be imaging in the morning (for my research) and I have to be there at 10- waaay too early! I just looked at my resume that I sent out to about 20 companies and realized there was a typo! Small and barely noticable, but there, none the less. Frustrating! Hmmm... well... the reason I probably haven't written in a while... I was sleeping elsewhere for a while there. I had a good guy to take care of me. In the meantime, my head got clearer, more sane, my heart healed a bit. Things did not work out with this person not too long ago but I care about him a great deal and I hope he continues to care for me and want to have me around. He was good to me and I am grateful for that. Now, tomorrow (or I guess it is today), I plan on letting someone else back into my life. The one who hurt me so bad. The one who lied and cheated and did so many things to add to my depression and bitterness. Why, you ask? Because I think he may have finally grown up. People never change, this is true. But they can grow and learn from their mistakes. Do I believe he has? I don't know yet... Ihope so... And if not, I know this time I WILL be strong enough to leave and have it be the last time. One problem- I may be movingas far as 3000 miles away in about four months. Well, we will cross that bridge when we come to it- if it gets that far. I am excited for some things coming up. Now that I am healthy and happy, I may be able to enjoy this summer much more than the last. I can work on my thesis with some degree of motivation. Write, write, write... well, I guess I should actually do the experiment first, huh? Yes, soon, soon... Camping trip to Bar Harbor, Maine with three of my best friends. This is the last New England state that I have never visited. S'mores!!! My birthday is the day before we leave and Stacey's is while we are there... FUN! I also hope to go to some festivals- Renaissance in Sterling (maybe with Allison???), Clothesline in Rochester- hmmm... not til September, lots of others, I am sure. I started doing beading and macrame again.... maybe I can get a booth at a craft fair or something... hmmm... Just plan to have fun in between my imaging, and analyzing, and writing... Need to read a lot, make some money somehow- more Ebay??? I already "volunteered" (it is for pay) to teach web design to inner city high school students to design their own web pages later this summer for three weeks. Hmmm.. also, need to go to Woodstock again, sometime soon... (with the one who was sooo good to me possibly???- he would love it there). Also, would love a weekend trip sometime this summer ot Scituate (with the one who redeems himself, by chance???) Hmmm... lots to do, lots of fun to have, lots of thinking and figuring out.... Hope all is well out there in cyberland...
Good night!