November 1 , 2004

I haven't written in a long time. I am not sure why that is. Actually, I do know why, I guess, but I won't go into that. Right now I am writing mainly because I can't sleep. It seems that lately I am either way too tired or not tired when I want to be. I have taken up knitting. I have so far learned to knit a hat (with some mistakes) and a scarf (which so far is coming out well). Knitting has taken my mind off some things. Pictures to come...

I am also taking Spanish classes. Sadly, I can tell I will be able to read the language much better than speaking or understanding (hearing) it. I wish someone had told me in junior high school that there wasn't much point in taking French because it was more likely I would grow up to know more Spanish-speaking people than French-speaking. I remember getting A's in French class, but I think I was always better at reading that too. Too bad I only know one person that speaks French (and that is rare) and I know many that speak Spanish.

I am not even sure what else to write. I have a lot on my mind, but most of it I am trying to block out. I am hoping for a change in my life. If it happens, it will happen within a couple of weeks. We shall see...

No books of any importance lately... I find I can't concentrate on them. I can't even remember what the one I am reading is called.

August 4, 2004

Tonight I spoke with someone that I hadn't talked to in a while. I was happy before I talked to this person - that I have never actually even met. Now I am reminded of how difficult it is to meet someone that you are not only compatible with, but that you actually enjoy spending time with and are actually attracted to. It is amazing how someone you don't even know can completely change your mood for the rest of the night.

Now that I am in this mood, I am, of course, also thinking about friends. In high school, I had all different types of friends. There were only a few that I spent a great amount of time with and the ones I enjoyed the most were probably all of a certain type- or we at least enjoyed doing similar things. The same in college. My friends in college were different from my friends in high school and my friends in grad school were different from my friends in college (even though it was the same school and even though some friends overlapped time periods). But all my friends I felt ... I don't know... complete with. Now, I miss the type of friends I used to have. The type of friends who would get together in a big group and just play cards in the local coffee shop, or sit at a friend's house around Christmas time and just talk and laugh. I love my friends that I have here, in my post-college life. But they are different. They care about, and enjoy doing, completely different things than my old friends. This is not a bad thing, just different. I have met only one person since I moved here that I really fit with. I hope I meet some more like him.

Obviously, I am missing something...

PS: For those who often ask- I am currently reading The Stand and listening to CDs of Atlas Shrugged...

August 1, 2004

I just saw Garden State tonight. It was showing in one northern NJ theatre and four in the city. I went to the NJ one- about 20 minutes from me. It turns out most of the movie is set right around where I was watching it. I even recognized a building that I had passed on my way to the theatre. I think it is going to open at more theatres August 6th. I really need to get the soundtrack. The song in the trailer is great, but so are all the other songs in the movie. There was something about the trailer that made me know I had to see this movie as soon as possible. Why I didn't go opening night is beyond me. This movie is so me. I very often feel exactly like Andrew Largeman- that sort of floating through life type of feeling. Almost like I am waiting for something to happen- and of course I am. And people all having their opinions about what is wrong with you. I get this a lot. Just last night, my own mother came up with a new one. I admit when she's right, but this isn't one of those times. Sometimes I think she just spends too much time with crazy people.

I am also loving this new TV show "The Days". I started out watching it because I was curious about the name (obvious to those of you who know me or if you have looked close enough at my site). It is a pretty quality show. I mean it is no West Wing or Six Feet Under, but it is much better than the typical Sunday night stuff. The best part about it is the soundtrack. Unfortunately, I don't think a CD has been released (at least not yet). They play a lot of cover songs, most sounding very different (typically mellower) than the originals.

July 22, 2004

I can't wait to go on vacation. I really need a break. I am not sure if this cruise will help, but I hope to feel better when I return from it...

I watched the old version of The Stepford Wives tonight. I am not sure why everyone said it was better than the remake. It was probably as good as the remake but not better- just different. Maybe it was just because I already knew the story so it wasn't as suspenseful or something. I thought the ending to the remake was much more interesting than the obvious one in the original. But I guess maybe it is sort of a [cult?] classic, so a remake wouldn't compare to the original to some people.

July 13, 2004

This weekend, mom came down and we spent the day in the city for my birthday. We saw Movin' Out, went to the WTC site, South Street Seaport for dinner, and on a cruise around the southern tip of Manhattan. Mom was excited to see the bull in the Financial District. It was a good day to end a not so good week.

I bought a couple of things with my birthday money (from family). One is an Epson photo printer. So far, it is fabulous! I also bought something else that would just prove I am a geek, so I won't mention it.

I just booked our cruise to the Bahamas, Florida, and the Florida Keys. Can't wait to get away!

July 9, 2004

"Commitment is healthiest when it is not without doubt but in spite of doubt."

Why is this hard to understand???

June 28, 2004

I have realized that since I moved to this area, I have become much more fashion-conscious. I guess this makes sense since I now live 15 minutes from one of the fashion centers of the world. It is definately a different way of thinking and dressing than I was accustomed to in the past. All of my friends here are very into the latest cute shoes, skirts, etc. There are definite trends more than I have seen elsewhere. Some friends from upstate came to visit me this past weekend. While sitting around talking at a cafe in the village, I pointed out a new fashion that is all the rage down here. Every other girl you see is wearing this particular 80's-updated-style skirt. My friends had never seen this style before or at least in this mass wearing of it, I guess. For the record, I do not own one of these skirts. I am glad, however, that I am with someone who can at least appreciate the efforts that women go through to look good (even if he doesn't actually care much about women's fashion). I did buy a $50 pair of jelly heels though (with matching clutch)... I would never have done this in the past. I also rarely go out in flat shoes anymore. I wonder if this means that I am becoming more superficial from living in this area, or if I am just taking more pride in my appearance.

Meanwhile this weekend, I had two surprises. First, on Friday night, an ex-boyfriend called me to ask for me back. I haven't gotten back to him on that yet... Second, sometime in the middle of night while I slept, I got an IM from someone that I haven't heard from in like 6 months or more. When I IMed him yesterday to ask what he contacted me suddenly for, his response was "no reason". So I figured, if there wasn't a reason, there wasn't a good enough reason to unblock him.

A friend recently told me she was forgetting what I looked like and asked me to send her a picture. I didn't have any recent ones at the time, so here is one that was just taken Friday...

June 8, 2004

Well I have finally decided to start this blog. Actually, I don't know if it will end of being more of a blog or an online journal. I recently passed the year mark of my move to New Jersey. I figured it was time. I realized I haven't looked at My Boot recently. Still no major changes. He has had a new chapter coming for ages. I first read My Girlfriend Hates My Futon years ago and it made me laugh hysterically. I think I'll read it again and see if it has the same effect.

It is supposed to be almost 100 degrees here tomorrow. I am not looking forward to this since I haven't put my air conditioner in my window yet. Putting the A/C in means giving up fresh air in the kitchen.

I still read Not Martha almost daily as I have for a couple years now. She is much craftier than I but I still like to see what she's up to. She moved to Seattle recently and I am jealous because I miss that part of the country. I should take a trip back to Portland sometime soon.

I wish I could find an excuse to buy this rug. I love it but I have no space for it... and it's so cheap!

I am looking forward to the weekend. Specifically, the end of it...